Sunflowers & the farm

There are a few memories that I do have. ones that Frances never did tell. This is one of them.

One beautiful sunny day as I was out and about on the farm, I happened to notice Frances and David. They were busy doing something. I was drawn to go and see what was going on. Now I had been thoroughly trained and knew I was never to interfere upon their time together. Curiosity did get the better of me, and off I went.

David had a rifle and was showing Frances how well he could hit a target. As I stood behind them, they were looking for a target, I piped up and said, “shoot that sunflower off of the stem”. Not knowing I had walked up behind them, they turned angrily toward me. David shoved the rifle at me and said, “you do it”.

Of course, it was an impossible shot. The sunflowers grew wild and were beautiful small flowers that sat upon tiny stems that moved at the hint of a breeze.

I did not know what to do with the rifle, having never seen one before, much less held one. They were gracious enough to show me how to line up the two sights with the stem. So I lined up the sight and pulled the trigger. My God, whom I love and adore, looking down on me, to everyone’s amazement enabled me to shoot that flower and it flew off its stem. That made them even angrier. The rifle was snatched out of my hands and as they turned their backs on me, as usual, I no longer existed.

Off I went to spend my day alone, gratefully not with Charles but on my own to enjoy the rest of the day using my imagination, playing in the beautiful New Mexico sunshine. I was happy as I enjoyed the many interesting areas a child could explore the wilderness of that farm.


I thought my brother had set the sun and stars in heaven and ignored if I ever noticed how he loathed me.



Worst day of my life

One of the worst days of my life was the Saturday before I was to be married. I no longer have any of those photos so I have put our senior class photo here. Rodderick is on the second row to the right, in the middle. I am on the bottom row on the left side, second to the last person.

Brother, David and his wife Penny arrived on Saturday of my wedding weekend. Soon afterward he and Frances came to my bedroom and started in on me.

It was my chores to keep that large farmhouse clean. Floors, sweeping mopping, clean bathrooms etc, etc. I had already cleaned the bathroom, plus the rest of the house and swept and mopped it. Frances never allowed me to help cook dinner, or do laundry.

David decided I was not doing enough to help Frances. Those two made me do other chores. SO I was made to work all day and had gone to bed exhausted. I was too exhausted to even wash my hair, which was an absolute necessity. Those two came into the bedroom and flipped on the overhead light and got me out of bed to go and clean out the refrigerator.

I have never seen a refrigerator so full of foods she and Charles cooked all week. Charles made the worst messes. It took a few hours to get the whole mess cleaned up.

I suppose I might, on looking back consider it a fitting beginning for the special hell that was to come from marrying such a person as Roderick Richard Garrett.

I was a sad looking sight on my wedding day.

The next morning as I stood and looked at Roderick standing at the alter I suddenly felt panicked at what I was about to do and I knew I should definitely not marry him. I fully believe it was my Heavenly Father who let me realize that fact. Then I looked at Frances and David and deeply felt I could not go back out to the farm with those two. A choice between the devil and the deep blue sea. I made the wrong choice, one of many that were to come, I must sadly say.

The teachers who all knew all of the students on a personal level, tried to interfere and dissuade my marrying Roderick, to no avail, sadly. Frances had no desire to stop the marriage.

I had planned to go to college after graduation, instead, I married Duffus. Frances was finally rid of me. Around other people, she did always pretend to like me and made the obvious motions mothers do with a child they have born. Whatever. She even put the show on for Roderick. As soon as he and I divorced that charade stopped. She became the enemy she had always been and I still loved and respected her.

Marriage to him was an experience I could have gladly foregone.



Here are Charles and Frances standing beside the only grocery store in the community of Porter New Mexico. Apparently, granpa (Elmer Jackson) owned and they made their living running it before they borrowed the money and bought their farm.

Charles did have a rough life, apparently, he actually liked sister Nedra and used to talk to her. A story he did tell her was about something that happened before his birth.

His mon whose name was Birdie was a very capable and strong-willed woman. She had no milk of human kindness from the stories I heard and memories brought up during my days’  of therapy.

I did hear talk during the many Jackson family gatherings where the women would cook and talk about family. Elmer was crazy about Birdie and he courted her and one time, trying to impress her he told her that he had busted a bronc. Her reply to that was, “so what I’ve busted three”. A hard young girl to impress, but he persisted and won her heart. That’s assuming she had a heart. I think he may have been a rather good person, but always followed her lead.

As she had been out and about the community and was near delivery time, she was standing up in a wagon and whipping her team of horse’s. The wagon hit something and the wagon flew up in the air. She was thrown out of the wagon and one of the back wheels ran over her midriff. How an almost fully developed baby could survive that, I do not know. I do know there is much wickedness in this world and satan does what little he is able to do to protect his own.

He also told her that as a young child he overheard his mom and dad talking about what she had gotten all of the children for that Christmas. Elmer ask what she had gotten Charles, as she had said nothing about his gifts. He heard her say “I didn’t get him anything, he doesn’t matter”. What a terrible thing for a child to hear his mother say.

Frances had also told her that grandad had cried when told Frances that she had given Charles the only happiness he had ever known. He and Birdie had never treated Charles good.